Teleology goes live!

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POSTED: May 7, 2007

Last year I added an opening screen to this site, and in order to do this I needed to find out the date on which I died. So I went to and looked at their Death Meter which told me that I will die on March 3 2038.

I filled in the questionnaire as honestly as I could, and I only did it once, so there was no cheating at my end. Assuming that the information on the site is 100% accurate (something I habitually assume about everything that is available on the web) then I can now live the rest of my life teleologically. No more worry, no more stress. I know how (or at least when) the story ends, and I can make my plans accordingly.

This kind of benefit has previously only been available to certain hardcore believers such as Larry Norman but now it is available to everyone professing any kind of gullibility whatsoever.

That, brothers and sisters, was metaphysical democracy in action!


Today, I went back and did the test again – answering the questions as honestly as possible; and presumably therefore giving more or less the same answers. To my surprise, my life has grown a little bit in the last nine months.

a graphic, and a time of death

I am now due to die on November 27, 2039, after an unexpected additional period of one year eight months three weeks and three days.

This is presumably good news, or at least I will take it as such for the moment.