Monday, December 20

The weather has turned cold and ice has formed patterns on the windows. I notice the almost impenetrable pattern on the shower window when I walk in there.

I will not leave the house today. When it finally looks as though I might not freeze to death I will look down and see that I will quickly slip over instead. I can resist the temptation to cancel my trip to India by breaking a limb a couple of days before departure.

I will, however, decide that I should get a minor infection that I appear to have developed treated before said trip. I will do this in an disarmingly modern way. I will communicate with a trained medical professional using a chat-based app, and they will post a prescription online for me during our chat.

This takes self-diagnosis to a new level. And possibly into orbit.