Roozt: the art of being patronising

Yesterday I discovered Roozt which advertises itself as “the world’s marketplace for cause-brands”. Once you join you can browse “entire product lines and great deals from the coolest cause-oriented brands”.

In principle this sounds interesting. In practice the site does everything it can to change your mind about this. YOu can’t actually see the “great deals” until after you have signed up, so naturally you go to the About Roozt page to see if there are any clues there.

There are. Oh indeed, there are. The page tells you that

Roozt let’s you discover the dopest, trendsetting, cause-oriented brands all under one roof. That means no more scouring blogs, facebook walls, or google searches to find that fav new brand that’s helping save the world with their business.

Pedants may wonder what the apostrophe is doing hanging out in lets. Da kidz will know its the dopest punctuation in town. If you haven’t left the site by now to go somewhere else (anywhere else) you can scroll down to learn that

Now you can rock a new sick watch, hoodie, tee, piece of jewelry, or much much more that is actively making the world a better place.

Trust us, there’s nothing cooler than getting a compliment on your new wooden watch then telling your friends that your purchase also planted a tree…

Pass the sick bag! But wait, there is more.

There is a video available on the site, and on YouTube, that explains all this and using a smug narration that catches the tone of old people being down with the kids just perfectly.

Nothing to see here. Move along, please. There are plenty of other places on the internet…